In Which I Realize I Am at Home

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, either on Xanga or Facebook, you might have read some things about how I feel about being at school and around other students and professors, etc. How I feel like this is where I need to be and how much I love being around this place.

This summer kind of got me out of the design mindset since I didn’t have any real work to do, as far as designing things goes. Coming back to school this fall I was wondering how I would transition back into getting in the right state of mind to spend hours at school thinking about space and materials and how it affects people (and as an aside, I really do like the kind of mindset that I am in when I am working on a project. I find myself able to think on the fly, and I notice things around me easier. I think about people and spirits and philosophy and metaphysics. I feel like when I am here at school, in-depth in the semester, my mind is working very much how I would like it to all the time).

But my mind, unfortunately doesn’t work like that all the time. During the summer I am able to turn my mind off and just sort of exist, I fall into that state pretty easily sometimes in the summer, and I don’t exactly like that feeling.

So to get back to the point, how would I transition back from just existing to really being? School started three weeks ago and I slowly began to get back into the swing of things. I found myself start to be able to think more clearly and more deeply, like I did last year. But I was still not to the frame of mind I wanted to be yet. I needed to be able to constantly be in that creative sort of head space that seems to open the floodgates in my head and get me to where I need to be. So these three weeks I was sort of moving towards that goal.

And tonight I think I arrived. I’m here in studio and music is on my laptop (M.I.A. right now, Iron and Wine before that; itunes is on shuffle), the building is quiet because almost everyone has gone home, and I feel at home. I’ve written before about how complete I feel in Nashville when I am sitting outside with my friends, hanging out and drinking and talking; it’s the same basic feeling here in studio. The people around me, of course, are different, but the feeling is the same. I am comfortable, safe, and my mind is working. I am at home, and if you know me you know what that means.

(It means everything.)

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