In Which I Don’t Know What’s Going To Happen

Last week I had an interview for a job at an architecture firm here in Charlotte. Without getting into details, I wanted the job because it would have given me some good work experience and I liked the idea of working in Charlotte. I ended up not getting the job because of a misunderstanding that was really important to the head of the firm.

So now I’m back to waiting; as far as I know there are no other architecture jobs in Charlotte. A simple solution would be for me to apply for jobs in other places. While I am doing that on a somewhat limited basis, I’ve recently felt really strongly that Charlotte is the place I’m supposed to be right now. As unexpected as it is, I’ve fallen totally in love with this city and this group of friends I’ve undeservedly become a part of.

Part of it is the South exerting its pull on me yet again. I was born in Maryland and spent twelve years in Cincinnati, true, but my father’s family is from the Asheville hills since centuries past, and from the Charlotte area before that. If half of my DNA grew from my father’s DNA, and half of his from his father’s, and half of his from his, all the way back to Adam, and sometime shortly after the first Shope came to America my great-great-great-something-or-other grandfather lived in this area and took the soil and air into his lungs, into his DNA even, then for me it’s not a large leap to say that this place is in my blood, in my lungs, in my very being. The South is a part of me and I am a part of it, for better or worse, and I cannot escape its pull on me. If I move to Los Angeles or New York or some other big or small city, the South will always be my ancestral home. It’s not a long drive for me to see gravestones more than two hundred years old with my last name on them.

Does that mean I’ll never move away from here? No, it doesn’t. I have a deep desire to travel coupled with a strong sense of home, and I’m comfortable with that part of me. I need to see the world and live in different places, if only for a short time.

But here, now, this is where I’m supposed to be. I feel that in the deepest part of myself. I feel that more clearly than almost anything else about myself. I also know that I am supposed to be doing architecture and other creative things.

But there are no architecture jobs in Charlotte. So I’m waiting. I need to be doing something.

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