For better or worse, I’m someone who likes to debate things. I hate arguing with anyone about anything, actually, but I love debating. The problem is that sometimes it can seem like I’m wanting to argue when I’m not.
People need to feel loved. No matter the person or the situation, feelings of love, protection, and advocacy are necessary for a healthy life and worthwhile human relationships. I think I’m generally decent at making the people I interact with feel loved, or at least feel accepted and cared about. But there are times when I get it wrong and do a really terrible job of realizing that someone needs to just be loved for a minute.
I think the fact that I like debating makes it seem like sometimes I don’t think someone’s opinion is valid, or that my opinion is better than theirs, or that I am not on their side in life. This is not true. I think opinions different than mine are more valuable than my own, I don’t think my opinion is better than anyone’s, and I am on the side of people I care about no matter what. While it might take me a little while to open up to a new friend, once I do I am fiercely loyal and would advocate for that friend to anyone no matter the situation. I might disagree with someone, but I am absolutely still on their side.
It’s funny, the other day I was telling someone that I feel like I’ve reached the point in my writing where I can pretty much get my words out in exactly the way I’m thinking them. This blog post proves that to not be unequivocally true. These paragraphs are jumbled and confused, I know, and for some reason tonight I’m not able to express the depth of my feelings the way I want to. But I needed to write for my own catharsis and to excise my demons of seeming to not care and missing the larger point that sometimes a person just needs to have someone on their side. I am working through my thoughts, I am working through my faith, I am working through my life, and I am working through my mistakes.